Paying Tribute To Dead Relatives With Suspension Lift Kits

What do us right-minded conservatives and thosewho breathed life into me. And think of the farts!
Beaujolais-drinking, terrorist-appeasing, Yalta-forfeitingToo indignant.
liberals have in common? We're all going to die soonerAfter the cremation, I got down to business
or later. Showing respect for the dead can come inresearching the different suspension lift kits on the
many forms, but I've figured out how I'm going tomarket. I looked into Fabtech, Superlift, Trailmaster
pay homage to my kith and kin. I'm going toand Rancho, but I was weirdly drawn to the
immortalize them by lifting my Silverado.Skyjacker lift kits. It's hard to explain, but I could
Ben Franklin, that crusty old crawdad of Americanalmost see my dad's smiling face in the profile of the
Democracy, may have been bright, but does thatcast iron steering knuckles. The connection I felt was
mean that his maxim about death and taxes isso strong that I even tried to get in touch with
unquestionable? Not entirely. Grover Norquist and thesomeone over at Skyjacker about having some of
other patriots down at the Americans for Taxmy father's remains injected into the Platinum 9000
Reform offices are hard at work doing away withShocks I was going to get. No one seemed to take
the tyranny of the IRS. However, not even the tagme seriously. It's probably for the best, though. Who
team efforts of Newt Gingrich and Leo Strauss couldknows what kind of havoc those little bits of bones
eliminate the natural act of bucket kicking. Faced withmight reek on the wafer valving.
the unavoidable specter of death, the question thatThe installation took a couple of days, but that's
all of us must ask ourselves is how should we mournbecause I was trying to work as reverentially as
the passing of our loved ones? Crying is unavoidablepossible. For the finishing touch, I broke out my
at first. I'm not ashamed to admit that I bawled anDremel and etched my dad's name, Ralph, into the
oil-drum's worth of tears the day that the Gipper leftcrossmember. He'd have been damn proud. And on
us for that big movie set in the sky. But what comesthe maiden voyage, I drove my mobile memorial
next?over to the lakefront promenade for a couple of
When my father passed, I couldn't get out of bedlaps. Thanks to the 5" of extra ground clearance,
for three days. I just laid on my side sobbing and myhopping the parking lot curb was child's play. Even on
only nourishment came from Nutella and Gatorade.the stairs leading down to the walkway, the shocks
One idea kept running through my mind as I wasdidn't fade or foam out. It was like dad's spirit was
holed up-I couldn't let my pa be forgotten. When Ibuttressing my every maneuver.
re-emerged, I knew exactly what I could do toI am a man who thrives on tradition, and I plan on
immortalize my old man. I would lift my rig in hischampioning this new custom. For example, I really
honor. Sure, I could have donated a marble bench incould use some steering stabilizers and a set of
his honor down along the lakefront promenadedesert tires, and I have a couple of ill aunts out on
where he used to love to stroll. But I couldn'tthe East Coast who I'm sure would appreciate being
stomach the idea of all those strangers plopping theirvenerated in my chassis. Everyone wins.
rears down on the everlasting memorial to the man