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Paying Tribute To Dead Relatives With Suspension Lift Kits

What do us right-minded conservatives and breathed life into me. And think of the
those Beaujolais-drinking, farts! Too indignant.
terrorist-appeasing, Yalta-forfeiting After the cremation, I got down to
liberals have in common? We're all going business researching the different
to die sooner or later. Showing respect suspension lift kits on the market. I
for the dead can come in many forms, but looked into Fabtech, Superlift,
I've figured out how I'm going to pay Trailmaster and Rancho, but I was weirdly
homage to my kith and kin. I'm going to drawn to the Skyjacker lift kits. It's
immortalize them by lifting my Silverado. hard to explain, but I could almost see
Ben Franklin, that crusty old crawdad of my dad's smiling face in the profile of
American Democracy, may have been bright, the cast iron steering knuckles. The
but does that mean that his maxim about connection I felt was so strong that I
death and taxes is unquestionable? Not even tried to get in touch with someone
entirely. Grover Norquist and the other over at Skyjacker about having some of my
patriots down at the Americans for Tax father's remains injected into the
Reform offices are hard at work doing Platinum 9000 Shocks I was going to get.
away with the tyranny of the IRS. No one seemed to take me seriously. It's
However, not even the tag team efforts of probably for the best, though. Who knows
Newt Gingrich and Leo Strauss could what kind of havoc those little bits of
eliminate the natural act of bucket bones might reek on the wafer valving.
kicking. Faced with the unavoidable The installation took a couple of days,
specter of death, the question that all but that's because I was trying to work
of us must ask ourselves is how should we as reverentially as possible. For the
mourn the passing of our loved ones? finishing touch, I broke out my Dremel
Crying is unavoidable at first. I'm not and etched my dad's name, Ralph, into the
ashamed to admit that I bawled an crossmember. He'd have been damn proud.
oil-drum's worth of tears the day that And on the maiden voyage, I drove my
the Gipper left us for that big movie set mobile memorial over to the lakefront
in the sky. But what comes next? promenade for a couple of laps. Thanks to
When my father passed, I couldn't get out the 5" of extra ground clearance, hopping
of bed for three days. I just laid on my the parking lot curb was child's play.
side sobbing and my only nourishment came Even on the stairs leading down to the
from Nutella and Gatorade. One idea kept walkway, the shocks didn't fade or foam
running through my mind as I was holed out. It was like dad's spirit was
up-I couldn't let my pa be forgotten. buttressing my every maneuver.
When I re-emerged, I knew exactly what I I am a man who thrives on tradition, and
could do to immortalize my old man. I I plan on championing this new custom.
would lift my rig in his honor. Sure, I For example, I really could use some
could have donated a marble bench in his steering stabilizers and a set of desert
honor down along the lakefront promenade tires, and I have a couple of ill aunts
where he used to love to stroll. But I out on the East Coast who I'm sure would
couldn't stomach the idea of all those appreciate being venerated in my chassis.
strangers plopping their rears down on Everyone wins.
the everlasting memorial to the man who




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